In "Everything Is Going To Be All Right," Derek Mahon has written a life-affirming poem that has flown from the hand unbidden. The title of my blog is buried in the line ... the hidden source is the watchful heart.
The poem's title recalls for me a time in 1995 when my Zen teacher Maezumi Roshi gathered some of us at Green Gulch Farm for a joint meeting with the Japanese Soto Sect. A main point of contention was that the schedule devised by the Japanese did not allow for open dialogue, and we felt strongly that open communication needed to begin now! A few of us were talking about this when Tetsugen (now Bernie) said, "You know, it'll be kekko desu again" -- the Japanese expression for "everything is fine" (especially when it isn't).
As we shared past incidents of kekko desu, Maezumi Roshi appeared, having just returned from a meeting with the Soto representatives. He walked over to us with his hands extended palms facing downward gesturing as though holding down the lid, and said, "Everything is fine, everything is fine." We all burst out laughing, Roshi too. Tetsugen said, "No, Roshi, everything is not fine." The open discussions began that morning. In the afternoon, Tetsugen said to me, "After thirty years of saying kekko desu, I no longer feel like I have to say it anymore."
For the Irish poet Mahon to say everything is going to be all right is an amazing declaration in the midst of the cold facts of life: there will be dying, there will be dying, but there is no need to go into that.
I myself prefer "everything is as it is" and the all-rightness of it is entirely up to me.
Ahhh this is so beautiful....! Thank you for deepening the richness of my contemplation of this phrase over the past 10 years or so!: "All is well and everything is unfolding as it should.."
ReplyDeleteHi Satya! "... everything is unfolding as it 'does' ... ?! Love to you from the midst of this boundless mystery.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Roshi, my question for you and your blog readers is something like: everything is fine AND I will clean up the mess/take responsibility for those things that are "not fine"? A specific example, from the day: I was not insured when I had emergency surgery a couple weeks ago, and just got a bill for $26,000. Whew. There are all kinds of ways I can respond to this -very- interesting (and somewhat 'unfine' situation). And that's just an example from today :) To whom or to what is the responsibility?
ReplyDeleteHi Myosen, May you be well and fully recovered from your surgery! As Eb likes to say post surgeries, "an investment in his future."
ReplyDeleteI am unclear what you are asking. Going beyond "fine" and "unfine," how do you handle a bill for $26,000? A fine everyday life koan, indeed.